Who will help me then?

Answers (8) to: "Who will help me then?"

• Johann...

  
  
  
  Hi Michael, it sounds to me that both your parents may be bipolar and are using alcohol and prescription drugs to 'self-medicate.' That's another way of saying they use drugs to escape their feelings and escape having to deal with the consequences. Can you suggest that they get some therapy, either together or separately? Would they be open to that? If they are indeed bipolar and not only addicted to drugs or alcohol they'll have to deal with both issues to get well. It's got to be really hard to stand by and watch your parents self-destruct and not be able to do anything. But the bottom line is that you can't make them well, they have to be willing to get help for themselves. You can suggest it, and be supportive to them, but don't let them drag you into their chaos. Good luck, let us know how you're doing.
  Johanna

  Answered 11 months ago   |  Report abuse

  Did you find this answer useful? 2    1    
  
  
• cbellh47

  
  
  
  Hello Michael. I see you care for your parents. It may be hard for them to take advice from you. All you can do is try and get them to go see their doctor. Its wise to move away from a situation involving addiction and alcoholism as you have done. You have to go on with your life and hopefully not let the other situation drag you down. Perhaps your parents have friends or relatives that you could contact and ask for help in dealing with them. If the suggestions come from multiple fronts than maybe there is better hope the light will come on for them to seek help. For you, there is a group called Al-Anon. Its not AA. Al-Anon is for people who have been on the receiving end of having to live with an alcoholic or addicted person. They can help you. Alcoholism and drug addiction affect everyone around the one with the problem. You have been living in a tough situation. But you are strong enough to do something about it. Good for you.

  Answered 11 months ago   |  Report abuse

  Did you find this answer useful? 2    0    
  
  
• mrfoot56

  
  
  
  hey mickael;i an going to tell you my story;I was born in 1956,I no what you are going through,when i was 6yrs old my sister got sick(asthma attack)my mother was partying and my grand mother took care of us then-my grand mother kept telling my mother to take my sister to the hospital(finally my siter stopped breathing,my mother then took her to the hospital,it was to late--my father was very mean to me/mother-holla all the time-i was very affaid of him,i would hid when he came home from work,the minute he walked in the door he would start to drink,i got married at 22 to get away from them--my father is dead now(i dont no if i cried,or thanked the lord that he was dead==mrfoot56--stay strong

  Answered 11 months ago   |  Report abuse

  Did you find this answer useful? 2    1    
  
  
• BLars

  
  
  
  Hi Michael, I agree with what cbellh47 wrote. The best thing you can do for yourself and your parents is to take care of yourself. The people in Al-Anon can help you discover ways your family addictions influence your life. And also offer real-life tools that have helped them make positive changes in their own lives. If you decide to try this, try to remember that each group has its own character. If you don't feel comfortable in one group, try another.

  Answered 11 months ago   |  Report abuse

  Did you find this answer useful? 2    1    
  
  
• cbellh47

  
  
  
  I made friends with an elderly lady who I used to visit on Sunday afternoons. She had been a nurse for over 50 years. Her alcoholic husband took up with another young lady many years before I met her. They divorced. She raised their children. It left her very bitter all her life. I listened to the stories when I visited her. We got to be good friends for many years. She passed away a year ago. Her daughter was a counselor at the alcohol and drug rehab center I used to visit. Although the experience was a bad one for both the mother and daughter, good came out of it in all the people her daughter has helped through the years. The message of AA was spread. The lady's husband died from his alcoholism though and never sought out help. That is the unfortunate side of alcoholism. Although there are treatment centers and AA all over the world, many never seek help and evetually die from it. They could never see that they were very sick or admit they had a problem or do anything about it.

  Answered 11 months ago   |  Report abuse

  Did you find this answer useful? 1    0    
  
  
• Doctor...

  
  
  
  I think your friend's assessment may be very true. Bipolar disorder--for which there are several varieties is carachterized by cycling moods that can last a period of weeks, months, or may even changes back and forth in a matter of hours (its called rapid cycling). Then they are manic, they may be out of control, very charming (or obnoxious), they may be reckless (spending money they dont have, etc)they may not sleep much. Then they will become depressed (sleeping, drinking, irritable). This type of behavior can be very stressful and confusing for family and caregivers. It would be very normal for your mom to develop depression due to the trauma of that type of instability in her life and marriage.
  
  Good news: both those disorders are treatable with therapy and meds--if you can get people to go, that is.
  
  Don't give up on your family! You are in a position and opportunity to help them with something they may not even be aware is happening.
  
  It sucks though, I know. Good Luck!

  Answered 11 months ago   |  Report abuse

  Did you find this answer useful? 1    0    
  
  
• lixuri...

  
  
  
  hi Michael, i am the topic-manager in charge by iMedix for "depression", "bipolar disorder" and "diabetes". more will probably follow. Please pinch me, write me, chat with me! Read my story:
  http://www.pulsarsystems.ch/lixurion999-EN.pdf
  Sorry for the awful online-translation.
  I am here since now only a week, but I have been asked after only one day to help the iMedix-crew to coach several topics. I will also enforce the professionals to come to iMedix to learn together. Nobody can know everything, but together we can be a great task. I will soon write my psychiatrist to have a look to this site. Perhaps he will join us. It took me 13 years before I could find him. He was the first and only one able to diagose me correctly for "bipolar disorder" and ADHD. I found myself out that i have Sanpaku-eyes which makes a person also physically and psychically instable. I used today some drugs, because I could not sleep two days ago. Else, i don't take

  Answered 11 months ago   |  Report abuse

  Did you find this answer useful? 0    1    
  
  
• Petula...

  
  
  
  Hi Michael, I've been where your mother is now. It took me many years to finally reach a point where the love was gone and I had no more excuses not to leave. I stuck it out for my kids who also were affected by there father's drinking, and to get a new life for us. My son has gone through his own bad times but a young lady has come into his life that has been a godsend and gave him a reason to straighten out. My daughter went through the worst of times with her father as she is older and still holds resentment. I think it is very wise of you to get out on your own but I hope you will be there for your Mom if she needs you. I think all mothers have a special bond with their sons at least I have with mine. No one can help your Dad unless he is willing to help himself. Many lose their families never realizing they're the problem. Take care of yourself and let us know how you're doing.

  Answered 11 months ago   |  Report abuse

  Did you find this answer useful? 1    0