How to help someone with anxiety?
People who aren't familiar with anxiety attacks can't imagine how paralyzing and absorbing it can be. What do we have to do if our significant other suffers from anxiety?
People suffering from anxiety tell in this article about what do they feel during anxiety attacks and what kind of help and support do they really need.
The best that you can do is just listen
“Nobody demands from you some answers. You won't be able “to cure” us even if you want it very much. Just listen. Let us know that you are nearby and ready to help. Don't try to be very persuasive if you see that it's unpleasant for us, but don't miss the moment when it's important for us to be embraced”, – Liam L.
Don't say “just calm down”
“It doesn't help and only irritates. Usually we understand for 1000% that our anxiety is irrational. This offer won't help to take it easy in a magic way and disconnect all feelings”, – Kelly R.
Your support is everything to us
“I date with a young man more than a year. I know that it's not easy to love me on some days. I often irritate him, and he can't understand why do I behave this way. But if I'm shipped in infinite doubts and disturbing thoughts, it's important for me to know that he accepts our distinctions and loves me even at those moments when it's difficult for me to love myself”, – Lida H.
Remember that anxiety happens on different ways
“My husband and I both have a heavy depression and anxiety attacks. At the same time our symptoms are shown differently, and things which are useful for me sometimes can't help him. During difficult periods I need physical contact, approval and support. And as for him it's necessary that he can stay alone. If you are able to understand what is required to the partner at a difficult moment, it will strengthen the relations”, – Janna.
We are very grateful to you for your patience
“Patience is one of the very important advantages of the person. The main thing is that you show love and care anyway. When I go with my boyfriend to a party, he comes to me from time to time and quietly asks if I feel good. It ‘s an easy way to care about me”, – Veronika R.
Treat our experiences seriously
“Before my anxiety was diagnosed and I have begun to treat it, during some attacks it seemed to me that I have a heart attack or blood clot. My bride has brought me to hospital and in general has very seriously treated this situation. She didn't doubt that there is something wrong with me, even when the doctors told us that there are no reasons for worries. And it meant to me a lot. Sometimes the anxiety is paralyzing, and it's important that there is someone who won't to say scornfully: “It doesn't matter!”, – Eric B.
Don't take offense at our behavior
“Remember that our anxiety isn't connected with you even if it seems that you have provoked it. We simply feel a terrible overstrain. The reason of anxiety attack is partly connected with work of our brain, and you can't do anything against it. But there are also external factors which you can influence on. Help us to distract our attention, it will help to facilitate anxiety. For example. suggest to take a walk”, – Bill F.